by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Jul 8, 2017 | Relationships
Is it possible that your freedom is tied into someone else’s deliverance? It may sound strange, but unfortunately this is very common. If there is someone in your life that you want to see set free from bondage, it probably feels like a burden. You wonder, why they don’t see that they are heading down a path of destruction. It’s clear to you and everyone else, but they have probably gotten so comfortable in their situation that they are ok if they are never set free. Now, when they hit a rough patch, they may come to you for help or guidance, but it won’t be long before they are right back where they started.
Unfortunately, your begging, pleading, crying and even telling them what can happen if they don’t change will not move them. At this point, you must make a decision. Do you continue carrying their burden or do you release it? You cannot hold yourself responsible for the decisions made by an adult. If you are not careful, you will begin to feel like their situation has not changed, because you should be doing more. If you have reached this place, it is decision time. Are you utilizing your time, energy and resources wisely? Your health and well-being are very important. Are you putting your own health at risk? I’m challenging you to pull back and start praying for that person to DESIRE change. Some burdens are not meant for you to carry. When you release what has been weighing you down, you ultimately set YOURSELF free. Until next time….
Dr. Jessica Houston
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by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Jun 5, 2014 | Relationships
Experiencing a breakup is not quite what we anticipate when we begin dating someone. In fact, many times we are secretly hoping that our current partner is the one who will become our lifelong partner. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. When in a relationship there are instances, when breaking up is a hard decision but it is ultimately the best decision. If you have recently experienced a break up, you must keep reading.
1. Give yourself an opportunity to grieve. Many times we are hard on ourselves about being torn up after a breakup. Especially when you were the victim of abuse or infidelity. You will often hear friends, family members and even experts saying that you need to “get over it”. I totally disagree. When you experience any type of loss, it is very likely that you will go through a period of grief. What you must do during this time is give yourself an opportunity to heal. You will be very vulnerable and you might be very tempted to call your ex back. However, what I want you to do is think about why it didn’t work out and ask yourself if going back will resolve the issues that caused the breakup. Keep in mind that you cannot force someone else to change. If the breakup was a result of your partners actions, your partner must be willing to change. If not, the same behaviors will show up again.
2. Get Active. When you are grieving it can be tempting to withdraw from others. Now, you do need to spend some time alone. However, I recommend that you schedule in social time every day. Spend time with someone who makes you laugh. I also recommend that you try something new and exciting. Perhaps you can join a gym and begin taking fitness classes. You can also find a festival, expo or a concert to attend. Participating in a social activity will help redirect your thoughts. You should be forcing yourself to have fun. Just because one aspect of your life has changed, that does not mean that you cannot still enjoy the gift of life. It might feel like a daunting task at first, but you will eventually begin looking forward to your daily social activity.
3.Forgive and Move Forward. It is important to recognize that you cannot change the past. However, in order to have a bright future, you must forgive your ex (this can be difficult). You should not forgive your ex as a favor to him/her. Forgiving is actually going to help you move forward with your life. It is going to help you recognize what you will not accept in your new relationship. It will also help you begin dating again with a clear mind. If you begin dating and you are still holding on to anger, it will be very difficult for you to trust someone else. It will also be difficult for you to establish a good foundation. There is someone who will treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. Make a decision to forgive and move forward. Until next week…
Dr. Jessica Houston
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by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | May 7, 2014 | Relationships
If someone has touched your life in a positive way, please let them know. As an author, speaker, educator, and victory coach, my primary goal is to help others recognize their value and maximize their potential. With the help of mentors and coaches, I have been able to reach my goals quicker and easier. For this reason, I understand the importance of social support. After overcoming low confidence, I can now look in the mirror and say “I am beautiful.” With newly found courage, I can stand before an audience and share some of the secrets that have held my happiness hostage for years. However, what I cannot do is read the minds of the people whom I pour into on a daily basis.
Has someone encouraged you when you were feeling hopeless? Has someone inspired you? If so, please send them a thank-you note or give them a quick call to say thanks. The individual that took the time to encourage or inspire you might just be feeling down today. They might be feeling as though the work that they do is in vain. In fact, they might be thinking about giving up on their mission. However, hearing how they have made a positive impact on your life can provide the boost that they need. Your testimony can be exactly what they need to continue their mission and their assignment. God sends people our way for a reason. If someone has made a difference in your life, please let them know how much you appreciate them. Your words will help refuel their energy and reaffirm the need for their service to others. You never know what someone might be experiencing. This week I challenge you to give someone a few words of encouragement. Until next time…..
Dr. Jessica Houston
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by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Nov 23, 2013 | Relationships
I believe that most women have been in a situation where they are dating someone who is not ready to be in a committed relationship. Let me guess, the man who is not ready to commit is the one who has all of the qualities that you are looking for in a man. Does it sadden or disappoint you when a man is honest about the fact that he is not ready to be in a committed relationship? Do you understand that he will have the best of both worlds if you decide to ignore the fact that you would like to be in a committed relationship? Even when given an opportunity to walk away, many women decide to stick around, hoping and believing that they can eventually get the man of their dreams to commit.
I believe that trying to persuade a man to commit is a huge mistake. If he is not ready to commit, there is absolutely nothing that you can do to change his mind. If he tells you that he is not looking for anything serious right now, he just gave you a disclaimer. In other words, if you see me out with someone else, you do not have the right to ask any questions. Good looks, good sex, nice gifts, and even good cooking will not persuade a player to settle down.
If you know that you desire to be in a committed relationship, thank him for his honesty and let him walk. Save your energy and your benefits for someone who shares your desire to be in a committed relationship. The good news is that he was honest. It could have been a situation where he took the time to ask you to be his woman, knowing that he would not be faithful. I can appreciate honesty. On the contrary, I despise men who play games. Ladies, you are responsible for protecting your heart. Sometimes, following your mind and your intuition, instead of following your heart is the best option.
Dr. Jessica Houston
by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Nov 3, 2013 | Relationships
Does the dating process ever feel like a chore? Have you ever felt let down or disappointed after initially being extremely excited about a prospective mate? As a woman, I know what it feels like to become frustrated with the dating process. I believe that dating can be fun and exciting, but only if you avoid the 3 mistakes that I am about to share.
1) Limiting your options
It is okay to have standards, but you should never limit yourself to specific physical characteristics. Women often state that there are not any good men left. When in fact, there are millions of good men out there. Unfortunately, many good men are bypassed, because they are not deemed physically attractive . There are also women who will only date professional men or men in a specific income bracket. If you have strict guidelines, you significantly limit your options.
2) Falling too hard too fast
When you first begin dating someone who seems to be exactly what you want, you might be tempted to fall hard pretty quickly. When you fall too hard too fast, your ability to notice red flags diminish. Give yourself an opportunity to truly become acquainted with a prospective mate. I highly recommend becoming friends first and then see where the relationship takes you. Men are competitive and they love a challenge. Give a prospective mate an opportunity to call or text you. Falling too hard too fast brings with it a lot of unnecessary heartache, if the relationship does not work out.
3) Detaching from friends
This is a mistake made by women far too often. You should never stop calling or spending time with your friends, just because you have entered a relationship. If you pay attention, men rarely make this mistake. In fact, if they like you, they will actually introduce you to their friends. Continue calling and spending time with your friends. By having a life of your own, you will not be sitting around waiting for him to call or take you on a date.
Dr. Jessica Houston
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