by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Jun 11, 2014 | Self Improvement
Negative people will drain your energy and dim your light. In an attempt to avoid negativity, it is important to deliberately create a positive environment. For example, you can surround yourself with positive people, listen to uplifting music, and/or read inspirational articles and books. When you are seeking to become happier, you must decide that you will seek out positive experiences. What is it that motivates you or makes you smile? The people, places and tasks that you enjoy should consume your downtime. Being alone and bored is a prime opportunity for negative thinking. When you are distracted by having fun, you are less inclined to experience sadness. If you begin to experience negative thinking, write down three positive affirmations that you can immediately say to yourself to counteract your negative thoughts. I also recommend that you practice verbalizing gratitude on a daily basis. Gratitude is a great way to shift your mind and generate positive thoughts. Another great strategy entails differentiating truth from faulty thinking. Ask yourself if you are 100% sure that your thoughts are accurate. Finally, when you are challenged, admit when you are focusing on the problem and not the solution. Focusing on the solution will allow you to shift your energy into problem solving mode. By shifting to problem solving mode, you will be able to focus more on the solution than the problem itself. Happiness is not only for a few select people. Everyone can be happy, but they must choose to be happy. Will you choose to activate your happiness? Until next Week…..
Bio
Dr. Jessica Houston, Ph.D, LMSW, has more than a decade of social work, counseling and higher education teaching experience. Throughout her career and personal life she has helped hundreds of individuals identify and fulfill their personal, educational and career goals. Her professional experience and educational achievements have earned her a remarkable reputation as a health and wellness expert.
Dr. Jessica Houston, LMSW
Author, Life Coach, Speaker
http://expectingvictory.com
by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Jun 5, 2014 | Relationships
Experiencing a breakup is not quite what we anticipate when we begin dating someone. In fact, many times we are secretly hoping that our current partner is the one who will become our lifelong partner. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. When in a relationship there are instances, when breaking up is a hard decision but it is ultimately the best decision. If you have recently experienced a break up, you must keep reading.
1. Give yourself an opportunity to grieve. Many times we are hard on ourselves about being torn up after a breakup. Especially when you were the victim of abuse or infidelity. You will often hear friends, family members and even experts saying that you need to “get over it”. I totally disagree. When you experience any type of loss, it is very likely that you will go through a period of grief. What you must do during this time is give yourself an opportunity to heal. You will be very vulnerable and you might be very tempted to call your ex back. However, what I want you to do is think about why it didn’t work out and ask yourself if going back will resolve the issues that caused the breakup. Keep in mind that you cannot force someone else to change. If the breakup was a result of your partners actions, your partner must be willing to change. If not, the same behaviors will show up again.
2. Get Active. When you are grieving it can be tempting to withdraw from others. Now, you do need to spend some time alone. However, I recommend that you schedule in social time every day. Spend time with someone who makes you laugh. I also recommend that you try something new and exciting. Perhaps you can join a gym and begin taking fitness classes. You can also find a festival, expo or a concert to attend. Participating in a social activity will help redirect your thoughts. You should be forcing yourself to have fun. Just because one aspect of your life has changed, that does not mean that you cannot still enjoy the gift of life. It might feel like a daunting task at first, but you will eventually begin looking forward to your daily social activity.
3.Forgive and Move Forward. It is important to recognize that you cannot change the past. However, in order to have a bright future, you must forgive your ex (this can be difficult). You should not forgive your ex as a favor to him/her. Forgiving is actually going to help you move forward with your life. It is going to help you recognize what you will not accept in your new relationship. It will also help you begin dating again with a clear mind. If you begin dating and you are still holding on to anger, it will be very difficult for you to trust someone else. It will also be difficult for you to establish a good foundation. There is someone who will treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. Make a decision to forgive and move forward. Until next week…
Dr. Jessica Houston
Home
by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | May 28, 2014 | Self Improvement
If asked, most people will report that they love themselves. However, the truth is that loving yourself goes far beyond stating that you love yourself. When you truly love yourself, you have specific and intentional qualities. In fact, when you truly love yourself, you understand that you are worthy of the best and you refuse to settle for mediocre living. Instead of asking you if you love yourself, I have an even better question for you “How do you show that you love yourself?” Self love means that you can look in the mirror and honestly believe that you are beautiful, talented and capable of accomplishing whatever you desire to accomplish. Below I have listed five qualities that individuals who love themselves exude. Once you are aligned with the qualities described below, you will have what it takes to master the art of self love.
1. Self Acceptance: Individuals who love themselves accept who they are. They have accepted those qualities that they cannot change. However, they are also committed to working on the qualities that can be changed.
2. Forgiving Quickly: Individuals who love themselves understand that withholding forgiveness is a major roadblock to happiness. Self love means forgiving, even when you do not want to forgive.
3. Disconnect from Unhealthy Relationships: Individuals who love themselves understand that they cannot remain in an unhealthy relationship. Self love means severing ties with people who are consistently causing you pain and distress.
4. Better Decision Making: When you love yourself you make decisions that are aligned with where you would like to be in the future. Self love means discontinuing negative habits and no longer engaging in risky behaviors. This is directly related to the question of “How do you show that you love yourself?”
5. Recognize and Counteract Negative Thoughts: Everyone is susceptible to negative emotional thinking. However, when you love yourself, you realize that negative thinking will sabotage your dreams and your overall wellbeing. Loving yourself means, that you are dedicated to stopping negative thoughts quickly and replacing them with positive thoughts.
If you are not aligned with the above qualities, it is not too late. You can transform your life by mastering the art of self love. This week I challenge you to begin showing how much you love yourself on a daily basis. If you are ready to transform your life, I highly recommend that you order the ultimate self-help book “Women’s Secrets” which can be found at www.amazon.com. Until next week…..
Dr. Jessica Houston
Home
by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | May 21, 2014 | Self Improvement
As I thought about what I wanted to share this week, I thought about how much discomfort I have experienced over the last few years. I have been consistently experiencing discomfort, because I have been stretching myself. Moreover, I have been authentic, honest, courageous and transparent. The result of my discomfort is tremendous growth. Growing pains are real and if you have not experienced them in a while, it is probably time for you to raise the bar. Discomfort is not something that we seek out. In fact, we often try our best to avoid discomfort. Many times, fear of the unknown is what makes us uncomfortable. Would you be willing to experience discomfort, if you knew that it would result in a victory? What if I told you that there is a correlation between discomfort and victory? In my personal as well as my professional life, I have noticed a very clear pattern. I have noticed that before every breakthrough or milestone, I experience some form of discomfort. If you are seeking strength, you must keep in mind what it takes to build muscle. I know that it would be great if we could just hit the easy button and quickly reach our personal and professional goals. However, in our day to day lives, there is no easy button.
Are you willing to get out of your own way? It’s easy to blame our circumstances or other people when our lives do not go as we imagined. However, sometimes we must be honest and accept responsibility for the role that we have played as well. I know that it might sound harsh, but we are often our own worst enemy. Unfortunately, this means that instead of taking the route that requires us to step out of our comfort zone, we far too often settle for the easiest and most comfortable route. The reality is that your victory will always be outside of your comfort zone. Therefore, until you get comfortable being uncomfortable, you will not experience the breakthrough that you have been seeking. This week I challenge you to push through your inclination to stay within your comfort zone. It can be difficult being the first person among family and friends to step out and strive for excellence. However, I encourage you to accept the challenge, even if you must do it alone. The very task or situation that was initially uncomfortable will become easier, if you remain determined and consistent. Until next week…
Dr. Jessica Houston
Home
by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | May 18, 2014 | Self Improvement
A dark room, no socialization and no motivation is just a small part of depression. It can be a demanding illness that will have you in a place of darkness and very alone. This illness wins because it convinces you that it is better to be isolated. It convinces you that there is no one that understands and no one who can help you. Having experienced depression myself, I want to share with you the four ways that I was able to finally come out of depression. These four ways are without clinical help or medication. My hope is that you put these four strategies into practice and allow them to help you, as they have helped me.
1) Support System-admit that you have a problem and instead of staying hidden allow yourself to reach out to others for help. It can be a family member, friend or a spiritual leader such as a pastor. Talk about what is troubling you and start your healing process.
2) Journaling-after being able to discuss your problem with a support system, start journaling. It is a form of therapy. In journaling, you can put all of your issues and problems on paper without being judged. Let journaling allow you to recognize what is bothering you and also help you recognize the triggers that lead you into depression. Open up your heart and your journal will protect it.
3) Prayer-saying a prayer every morning might help you leave the solace of darkness. I would say the following prayer every morning, “Lord, I don’t want to be unhappy, isolated or depressed. Please deliver me from this sickness so that I can be the best that I can be. I pray this prayer in the name of Jesus. Amen!” Also praying before bed or throughout the day helps renew your heart, mind and body. Remember nothing is too hard for God. Prayer can give you the peace that you need to get through the day without turning to the darkness of depression. Visit verse 2 Samuel 22:29, NLT and Psalms 34:18.
4) Leaving Your Comfort Zone- Depression has a way of becoming comfortable. To get out of that comfort zone means stepping out of the room or place that your depression is at its best. My comfort zone was my bedroom. Identify your place of comfort and slowly start stepping out of that place. Get out, start socializing and let your depression know that you are taking back control of your life.
There is a saying ”It’s easier said than done” and this may be true but if you put your heart and mind to overcoming depression it can be done. These four ways helped me to overcome the darkness that I was in and my hope is that the above strategies will give you relief as well.
*Please note that Teresa Beasley is not a Psychologist or Therapist. This article is written from experience and in hopes of helping another with this similar illness. Please consult a competent professional if you believe that you are experiencing symptoms of depression*
Teresa Beasley is a public relations, book reviewer and publisher from Indianapolis, IN and alumna of Indiana Tech (Fort Wayne, IN). She is an avid reader that loves to write. She plans to help bring visibility for authors wanting to express themselves through writing and speaking.
Recent Comments