by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Nov 23, 2013 | Relationships
I believe that most women have been in a situation where they are dating someone who is not ready to be in a committed relationship. Let me guess, the man who is not ready to commit is the one who has all of the qualities that you are looking for in a man. Does it sadden or disappoint you when a man is honest about the fact that he is not ready to be in a committed relationship? Do you understand that he will have the best of both worlds if you decide to ignore the fact that you would like to be in a committed relationship? Even when given an opportunity to walk away, many women decide to stick around, hoping and believing that they can eventually get the man of their dreams to commit.
I believe that trying to persuade a man to commit is a huge mistake. If he is not ready to commit, there is absolutely nothing that you can do to change his mind. If he tells you that he is not looking for anything serious right now, he just gave you a disclaimer. In other words, if you see me out with someone else, you do not have the right to ask any questions. Good looks, good sex, nice gifts, and even good cooking will not persuade a player to settle down.
If you know that you desire to be in a committed relationship, thank him for his honesty and let him walk. Save your energy and your benefits for someone who shares your desire to be in a committed relationship. The good news is that he was honest. It could have been a situation where he took the time to ask you to be his woman, knowing that he would not be faithful. I can appreciate honesty. On the contrary, I despise men who play games. Ladies, you are responsible for protecting your heart. Sometimes, following your mind and your intuition, instead of following your heart is the best option.
Dr. Jessica Houston
by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Nov 19, 2013 | Self Improvement
Do you truly recognize your value? Sometimes others recognize our value more than we do. Unfortunately, when this happens they offer us less and we accept it without thinking twice. It took me a long time to recognize my value. It never crossed my mind that I had qualities, skills, and attributes that made me unique and valuable. In fact, before recognizing my value, it never crossed my mind that I deserved the best in my personal as well as my professional life. Once I recognized my value, I began expecting more and in return, I began receiving more. People who do not recognize their value are typically unsatisfied with their lives. Some of the consequences of not recognizing your value includes but is not limited to poor treatment, lower wages, and overall mediocre living. In essence, when you do not believe that you are worth more, you are willing to accept much less than you deserve.
Are you ready to begin living with purpose? Are you ready to begin living your best life? If so, what are you waiting for? You should not waste another moment wishing that you could have the relationship, financial stability, or career that you desire. Your opportunities are limitless. However, you must understand what you have to offer and believe that you deserve the best. Moreover, you must recognize your potential and no longer settle for mediocrity. Do you take advantage of your strengths and talents or are you keeping them to yourself? When you realize that you deserve more, you will begin to expect more. Knowing your value creates an opportunity for you to set high expectations. This week I challenge you to list at least three strengths that make you valuable. Keep these three items at the forefront of your mind and continually remind yourself that you will no longer accept poor or even mediocre treatment. You deserve the best and you should not expect or accept anything less than the best. Have a great week!
Dr. Jessica Houston
by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Nov 10, 2013 | Self Improvement
If I ask you to defend your happiness, what would that mean to you? Does the idea of defending your happiness sound a little extreme? Does it sound like work? I hope that it sounds like work, because, just like everything else in life, it takes work to be happy. Your state of happiness should be deliberate and intentional. There will be moments of difficulty and even disappointment. However, you cannot allow those moments to consume you and hold your happiness hostage. One sure way to defend your happiness, involves distancing yourself from people who are always negative.
Have you ever been in an awesome mood, because something exciting happened? Did you pick up the phone to call a friend or loved one to share your good news? What happens next is very important. Either the person on the receiving end is excited for you or not. Unfortunately, within minutes, your joy and excitement can be sucked right out of you. This has happened to me, many times. Now that I recognize, how important it is to be surrounded by positive people, I intentionally limit my time spent around people who are negative and pessimistic. I still love them, but I must do so from a distance.
Perhaps you can begin connecting with like-minded people, who always seem happy and full of energy. Take a minute to reflect upon the people whom you spend the most time with. Are they pushing you to grow or are they bringing you down? Connecting with someone who is happy and goal-oriented is a great way to defend your happiness. This week, I challenge you to develop three ways that you can defend your happiness. Once they are developed, place them where you can see them and keep them at the forefront of your mind. Choosing to be happy, will create the positive energy needed to enhance your relationships, your career, and your overall well-being.
Dr. Jessica Houston
by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Nov 3, 2013 | Relationships
Does the dating process ever feel like a chore? Have you ever felt let down or disappointed after initially being extremely excited about a prospective mate? As a woman, I know what it feels like to become frustrated with the dating process. I believe that dating can be fun and exciting, but only if you avoid the 3 mistakes that I am about to share.
1) Limiting your options
It is okay to have standards, but you should never limit yourself to specific physical characteristics. Women often state that there are not any good men left. When in fact, there are millions of good men out there. Unfortunately, many good men are bypassed, because they are not deemed physically attractive . There are also women who will only date professional men or men in a specific income bracket. If you have strict guidelines, you significantly limit your options.
2) Falling too hard too fast
When you first begin dating someone who seems to be exactly what you want, you might be tempted to fall hard pretty quickly. When you fall too hard too fast, your ability to notice red flags diminish. Give yourself an opportunity to truly become acquainted with a prospective mate. I highly recommend becoming friends first and then see where the relationship takes you. Men are competitive and they love a challenge. Give a prospective mate an opportunity to call or text you. Falling too hard too fast brings with it a lot of unnecessary heartache, if the relationship does not work out.
3) Detaching from friends
This is a mistake made by women far too often. You should never stop calling or spending time with your friends, just because you have entered a relationship. If you pay attention, men rarely make this mistake. In fact, if they like you, they will actually introduce you to their friends. Continue calling and spending time with your friends. By having a life of your own, you will not be sitting around waiting for him to call or take you on a date.
Dr. Jessica Houston
by drjessicahouston@gmail.com drjessicahouston@gmail.com | Nov 1, 2013 | Feminism
Men and women differ in many ways, but in my opinion, women often receive a backlash when they attempt to step out of the confines of what society considers being a “Lady.” There are many societal expectations that can make women feel trapped. For example, ladies are kind, non-competitive, dressed conservatively, should not be assertive or use profanity. The societal expectations of women can become overwhelming. There are many perceived descriptions of what constitutes “being a lady” or what constitutes “lady like behavior.” My initial thought is, who developed all of these rules and why are women expected to adhere to them? For a frame of reference, what might be the typical reaction to a female who states that she is dating multiple men, because she is exploring her options? Would there possibly be a different reaction if a male made the same statement?
Why is it that a man who cheats is just being a man? In fact, men often brag about having an intimate relationship with numerous women. However, a woman in that same scenario will likely be called trash and other derogatory names. What is most interesting about the double standard is that there are many women who feel alienated or have lost hope, because they ultimately decided to live beyond the parameters that society has placed on women. Have you ever done anything that might be considered the exact opposite of “lady like behavior?” Do you support the double standard? As a woman, I am willing to step outside of the confines of the “typical lady.” I am not condoning cheating and I am certainly not condoning promiscuity. However, I do support equality. I believe that we should hold both men and women to the same standards. Where do you stand?
Dr. Jessica Houston
Recent Comments