I have always considered myself to be a nice and easygoing person. However, there have been times when a stranger, a family member, and even my spouse, pushed a button that immediately catapulted me into a different person. Sometimes, it is the result of something big, but most times it is the result of something minor. I believe that core issues are the true source of most of our anger and frustration. When you are already experiencing a significant amount of stress, it does not take much to get you worked up. Are you truly aware of the moments when you are in a bad mood? Are you truly aware of the moments when you are abrupt with friends, family members, or co-workers? Perhaps someone asked you a simple question and you decided that it was time to let them have it.
When this type of situation occurs, you are likely compounding the stress that you are already experiencing. One way to address this is to be honest enough to acknowledge the underlying issue. Is it that your finances are stressing you out? Did you have a disagreement with your boss, your significant other, or your best friend? Are you feeling tired or overwhelmed? Once you are able to acknowledge the underlying issue, you are able to pinpoint when you are responding to a current situation, based on an underlying stressor.
Instead of taking your frustration out on someone else, try confronting the real issue. Perhaps you are overwhelmed and need a helping hand. Maybe you can search for a better paying job, return to school, or talk things over with the person you had the disagreement with. Holding on to anger and frustration is unfair to you as well as those around you. From today forward, I challenge you to be conscious of when you are easily upset or easily offended. Contrary to what many people believe, we have total control over our thoughts and our behaviors. Being aware of your feelings, allows you to take action in a positive way. Making a conscious effort to identify and address underlying stressors will make you a better, friend, wife, coworker, and so forth. Give it a try and you will soon begin to see an improvement in your relationships and your overall level of happiness.
Dr. Jessica Houston
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